Keeping My Title

My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time. 

~ Karen Brown

I never knew this could be true. When I was full term and waiting for my baby to make an appearance, I was pretty verbal about it. A friend told me I needed to get all the rest I possibly could because it gets busy. And I thought how tough could that be.

Yesterday, I watched the show—Tia and Tamera—and it all came back to me.

The last days of my pregnancy were exhausting and I couldn’t wait to be done. And then the moment had come in all its crowning glory, making me “Mom”. The two days in the hospital felt like a vacation before the new job began.

My husband often mentioned new dads in the office looking really exhausted but he didn’t expect it the actuality of it either. We were pooped. Between nursings, diaper changes and trying to keep sane we were in awe of our daughter. We stared at her and despite our individual exhausted states fought over who would hold the baby. We were in love. How can you not be?

Today, I struggled with putting her to bed. She clearly wanted to play more. How could you not take that annoying triangle shaped toy to show her where it goes on the shape sorter. I have a PhD on teething woes, organic wholesome meals, the best diapers and wipes in town and subjects along the same lines. But ask me about the latest music and watch my brain freeze. I’m clueless about the latest clubs. I loved to travel and today, I am afraid of flights that are more than 2 hours long.

I never needed a handbag as much as I do today. Every section of my bag has a purpose. No matter how many naps my child has, I feel like I have a total of ten minutes of ‘Me’ time.

I used to be a perfume person. I never stepped out without wearing some and what I wore depended on where I was going. Now, I don’t remember to wear what I have let alone step out to go perfume shopping.

Today, my mornings start with my baby’s smile. And she smiles every morning when I go to her room to bring her out. She laughs every time Elmo sings. I don’t have baby drool on me anymore and she’s learning the need to be clean. After every meal, she attempts to wipe her highchair tray; she even shows me her hands if she manages to soil them.

Like every mother I boast about my daughter and the new things she learns everyday. We quarrel when she pulls my hair, which she does when she is sleepy or annoyed. We have already begun our bickering. But she’s a joy that I cannot explain. I have changed. My life has changed. Priorities walked in while maturity sneaked in. I miss my 17-year-old self and at times I wish I could hit rewind but I wouldn’t give my princess up for it. Not ever.

I would fight till the end of the world and beyond to keep my ‘Mom’ title, if I had to. I still need to pull out the stuff I have let take a backseat in my life and I’m working on it. At present, I am working on creating an enriched space for my family.

One step at a time; Supermom is in the making, I hope!